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Articles - Eight Caregiver Tips

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Take care of yourself.

Providing care to an older family member at the expense of your own health or relationships with your spouse or children does not benefit anyone, including the person who needs care.

Maintain contact with friends and involvement in outside activities.

This is critical to caregiver well-being. Studies show sacrificing oneself in the care of another and removing pleasurable events from one's life can lead to emotional exhaustion, depression and physical illness in caregiving.

Caregiving for adults is more stressful than child rearing.

With a baby, a person looks forward to a child's increasing independence. With elder caregiving, the prognosis is generally for decline and increasing dependence, not recovery.

It's okay not to love the older person who needs care.

Not all older family members have been lovable or likable. It's important to take into consideration personalities and your past relationship as you consider your level of involvement in caring.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, inadequacy or failure.

Knowing your limits and reaching out for assistance before you are beyond your limits is a characteristic of a strong individual.

You have a right to set limits and to say, "no."

Trying to "do it all" or "do it alone" only makes caregivers physically and emotionally exhausted.

Moving a family member into a care facility can be the most loving step to take.

It does not mean an end to your caring relationship. Being a manager and a coordinator of a family member's care is just as important as providing hands-on care.

Focus on what you have done well and forgive yourself.

Too often caregivers focus only on what they have not done. Remind yourself of the many things you have done well. There will be many times when you wish you had done things differently. You are only human. If you make a mistake, admit it, learn from it, and then go forward.

by Vicki Schmall, Ph.D., Aging Concerns, Inc.

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Last updated: March 30, 2000

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